The Funny Romans stuck In Iberia of The Socialist Republic of Alaska is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Emperor Augustus IX with an iron fist, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 3.859 billion Eeeees are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cordoba. The average income tax rate is 62.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving eeeee economy, worth 328 trillion Roman Lire a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 85,125 Roman Lire, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Families consisting of more than three people are forced to split up, the government is spending billions of taxpayer Roman Lire to support "struggling" industries, children have lost interest in toy guns in favor of toy meth lab kits, and tourists flock to see the giant stone carvings of historical leaders at Mount Rushless. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Socialist Republic of Alaska's national animal is the Roman Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

The Socialist Republic of Alaska is ranked 51,365^th in the world and 27^th in Callista for Smartest Citizens, with 39.58 quips per hour.