The Potato-Poet of The Salaxalans is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Svlad Cjelli with a fair hand, and notable for its public floggings, pith helmet sales, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 18.33 billion Salaxians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Social Policy, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rime. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Salaxalansian economy, worth a remarkable 4,524 trillion Dirks a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 246,830 Dirks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Political satirists and late night comedians weep as the government begins cleaning up its act, RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept, '.lib' or '.con' domains indicate whether Salaxalansian websites are meant for liberals or conservatives, and the television adaptation of Jennifer Government is the most popular program in the nation. Crime is totally unknown. The Salaxalans's national animal is the Electric Monk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Chronology.

The Salaxalans is ranked 72,656^th in the world and 114^th in Spiritus for Highest Drug Use, scoring 81.2 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.