The Socialist Monarchy of The Narwhalian Republic of the North is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Rex Comitis Phil Winthrop XI with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, strictly enforced bedtime, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 12.69 billion Narwhalians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Weblergrad Megalopolis. The average income tax rate is 98.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Narwhalian economy, worth a remarkable 2,507 trillion NRN Uraninite Denarii Chip - UDCS a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 197,558 NRN Uraninite Denarii Chip - UDCS, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Colonial subjects have Narwhalian culture shoved down their throats, this year's hottest fashion trend is the Lese Majeste collection, anyone who sleeps in past 9am can be declared legally dead, and fair-weather fans talk during plays while die-hard theatre enthusiasts stay at home. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Narwhalian Republic of the North's national animal is the Narwhal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Tetonic Order of the Striped Throne.

The Narwhalian Republic of the North is ranked 1,763^rd in the world and 7^th in The United Federations for Lowest Crime Rates, with 149.64 law-abiding acts per hour.