The Eurasian Socialist Republic of The Joeanian Republic is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Elita Fairhurst with a fair hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, public floggings, and otherworldly petting zoo. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 2.51 billion Eruasians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Nove. The average income tax rate is 86.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Eurasian economy, worth 437 trillion Eurasian Dimes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 174,320 Eurasian Dimes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The Eurasian Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation, fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding", devotion to God is only skin-deep, and feeling like a winner comes at a price. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Joeanian Republic's national animal is the Joeanian Shepherd, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Crymenathea.

The Joeanian Republic is ranked 6,996^th in the world and 28^th in Institute of Cellulose for Smartest Citizens, with 110.83 quips per hour.