The United Soviet Republics of The Helleness is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Premier George Demiroğlou with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.739 billion Hellenessians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Nafplion. The average income tax rate is 80.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Hellenessian economy, worth 192 trillion Pacificiums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 110,782 Pacificiums, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère, all mothers are allowed six months fully-paid maternity leave, the navy is chrome-plating its battleships to prevent rust, and official Sermon-Free Zones are set-up around the nation's hotels. Crime is totally unknown. The Helleness's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Secular State.

The Helleness is ranked 22,117^th in the world and 683^rd in the South Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 58.84 quips per hour.