The Francisco Sendrijas Pet of The Guardian Mastiff is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Tönpa Shenrab Miwoche with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 24.316 billion Guardian Mastiffians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lhasa. The average income tax rate is 75.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Guardian Mastiffian economy, worth a remarkable 2,838 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 116,746 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Aspiring authors begrudgingly help proofread issue submissions (The Guardian Mastiff has found 2 easter eggs), the newest East Lebatuckese coins have "long live East Lebatuck" on heads and "death to The Guardian Mastiff" on tails, gift baskets often contain working nukes, and Tönpa Shenrab Miwoche shot first. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Guardian Mastiff's national animal is the dog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Bön.

The Guardian Mastiff is ranked 55,153^rd in the world and 3^rd in The Beech Beach House for Lowest Crime Rates, with 72.85 law-abiding acts per hour.