Government Knows Best! Tsar Clouseau
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 977thMost Influential: 1,326thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,355th
The Dictatorship of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population12.592 billion

LeaderTsar Clouseau
FaithPink Panther-ism


The Dictatorship of Tessau is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Tsar Clouseau with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 12.592 billion Pencil-Pushers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dresden. The average income tax rate is 94.4%.

The large but underdeveloped Tessauan economy, worth 569 trillion Silvers a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, highly specialized black market in Tourism, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 45,237 Silvers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The men in trenchcoats hanging around playgrounds are actually police officers, courses in how to boil water are popular for formerly microwave-reliant Pencil-Pushers, healthcare workers are flummoxed over the spike in foreign tourists with sudden-onset heart disease, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Tessau as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tessau's national animal is the Ghost, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pink Panther-ism.

Tessau is ranked 179,616th in the world and 8,592nd in The North Pacific for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -7.87 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 977thMost Influential: 1,326thTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,355thLowest Crime Rates: 4,807thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,176thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5,259thMost Corrupt Governments: 6,840thMost Beautiful Environments: 7,587thMost Stationary: 7,831stBest Weather: 8,719thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 8,787thLargest Governments: 10,427thTop
Healthiest Citizens: 10,728thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 10,945thMost Authoritarian: 11,787thLongest Average Lifespans: 15,359thLargest Black Market: 16,000thLargest Populations: 18,946thSafest: 19,734th
Most Stationary: 176th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 181st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 194th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 229th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 238th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 309th in the regionLargest Populations: 348th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 393rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 401st in the regionBest Weather: 469th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 476th in the regionLargest Governments: 501st in the regionTop
Most Influential: 542nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 559th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 576th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 639th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 711th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 821st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 910th in the regionMost Cultured: 1,011th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 190 » Notyoutopia, Selfgradatude, Sunto, Frances Francis the First of France, Corfad, Yaorozu, Xentherida, Unimaginable Doom, Shadowrik, Holy Oranz, Calamazo, Wineclaw, Siwale, Malta Comino Gozo, Pallaith, Kwaj, Diodone, Yukti, Kelvaros Prime, Buckerino, The Iron Lions, Cloydicia, Moubarakistan, Universal State Formula, PlanetPunk, Territorio di Nessuno, Maott, Eglise Sainte Eve, Puczovska, Atain, Shibutani, Former English Colony, Koda-Land, Highton Islands, The Gamer Party, Whereisthatistan, Zeternia, United Draconia, Empy, Ethnon, El Fiji Grande, Dar es Saalam, Amestris-Britannia, Wilkshire, Pasargad, The Rhein States, The Most Freedom Ever, New Pruessen, SORT, Valhalla123, and 140 others.North Bratislava, Vincone Cae, Omnistria, Unsophisticate, Napnomadia, Bearical, Dreadton, Ninjak30, The Windmilluminati, Guer Aike, The Sinclarian Provinces, Niradans, Votak Matim, Egalico, Solmetria, Joodey, Steampunk Ariel, Plangainer, Trillius, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Noahs Second Country, Loutsland, Alpinea, Haor Chall, Astrind, Kobagia, Glurponia, Runeda, Orado, Daiz, Seenvorland, The Tampa Bay Rays, New Octicarg, McMasterdonia, The Stratosphere Islands, Kasazzastan, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Sundred, Sil Dorsett, Great Bights Mum, Zumlandia, Nakayo, Wisconsota, Gnomewatchers, 1 very fast endotarter, Eteles, United Kahndaq, Kranostav, PotatoFarmers, Pazair, Newpromisedland, Clan Spaniel, Dabarastan, Viridiann, Zyvetskistaahn, Interdimensional Zone, Ravendi, Castle Federation, Palgo, Valentine Z, Praeceps, Volstokn, Cobleck Weleis, Abject Ludicrosity, Tachycardia, Fendlium, Lungha, Hamerica, Loli County, Merconitonitopia, Valatic Ash, Xagill, The New Communist Republic Of States, MiaryBhalzhack, Yokciq Empire, The Endless Eventide, New Jamgra, Lendara, Serendipita Martia, SherpDaWerp in TNP, Ihese, Crader, Prevaland, The World Capitalist Confederation, Nistriabar, Antiyard, Varola, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Unshleepd, Woodsend, New Lakemba, The Pantheons, Korovan Isles, Californian Redwood, Westinor, Astronomical, Fauzjhia, The Serdey Islands, Greater Pittsburgh, Mesopotama, PortvgaI, Frostcell, Sikol, Saperisole, Zzozona, Iztocna Slavija, Hoglands, Plutayah, Termathe, Veast, Prydania, I Like Killing people, The Calabash Protectorate, Shinjuku tokyo 0, Kocherian, Seanat, Libertania Democratica, Brucklania, Arichia, Schnuftelland, Damsmel, Borsukia, The New Cordian Empire, Madjack, Ihsan, Xipher, The Federal Republic of Scouseland, Kragsgale, Amerian States, Astal Aavors, Innocentic, Illusia and Neverendia, Simone Republic, Principia Mathematica, Ultra777, Andexia, Buckhem, U S Eh, Eastern Cous Empria, and Dechire par la Guerre.

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