The Federal Republic of Tesco Aisle 17 is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Lord Tesco with an iron fist, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, infamous sell-swords, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.206 billion Tesconians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Garden City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 53.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Tesconian economy, worth 255 trillion Meal Deals a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Tourism, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 115,726 Meal Deals, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 326,670 per year while the poor average 32,817, a ratio of 10.0 to 1.

For the sake of 'public interest' news programs tell viewers how to home-make Sarin gas bombs, residents of ageing concrete tower blocks have vital renovation work stopped by Brutalism enthusiasts, nerdy teenagers have to prove that they're made of the same stuff as their grandparents, and pranking is an art form. Crime is moderate. Tesco Aisle 17's national animal is the Clubcard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Discountery.

Tesco Aisle 17 is ranked 13,922^nd in the world and 527^th in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 54.3 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.