The Federation of Telseria is a huge, cultured nation, ruled by The Scientific Council with a fair hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 827 million Telserians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Discendi. The average income tax rate is 80.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Telserian economy, worth 102 trillion Code Files a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 124,070 Code Files, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines, a vast monorail network carries people all over the country, election ballot papers are so long that unused ones are recycled as toilet roll, and the poor are often seen pale and dizzy after selling their blood to make ends meet. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Telseria's national animal is the chimpanzee, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Telseria is ranked 16,691^st in the world and 289^th in 10000 Islands for Healthiest Citizens, with 11.46 bananas ingested per day.