The Currently have no Internet of Technocratic Tagalog is a huge, efficient nation, notable for its pith helmet sales, compulsory military service, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 550 million Tagalogians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Industry, with Education, Environment, and Defense also on the agenda, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ibrahim. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 23.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Technocratic Tagalogian economy, worth 69.4 trillion Lireos a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Pizza Delivery. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 126,227 Lireos, with the richest citizens earning 8.8 times as much as the poorest.

One-man canoes fitted with the latest tracking technology leave no room for one man, tourists often cite 'hiding money in an off-shore banking account' as their main reason to visit the nation, flu research is commonly shut down for fear of creating a superbug, and cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates. Crime is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Technocratic Tagalog's national animal is the cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Technocratic Tagalog is ranked 72,630^th in the world and 3,097^th in The East Pacific for Most Politically Free, scoring 68.67 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.