The Constitutional Monarchy of Suomers is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Desider Ludwig Wilhelm von Bismarc with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, otherworldly petting zoo, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 8.292 billion Suomersians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kaliningrad. The average income tax rate is 32.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Suomersian economy, worth a remarkable 2,041 trillion deniers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 246,188 deniers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens no longer take selfies with their dead relatives at funerals, nobles' fancy titles no longer help them cut in line at the supermarket, it isn't only obsequious grandees who produce a lot of manure at state occasions, and female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Suomers's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Suomers is ranked 21,854^th in the world and 629^th in The North Pacific for Largest Governments, scoring 29.77 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.