The RP God n Vizier dubbed Dylan of Staynes is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Lambertus VII with a fair hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, smutty television, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 7.684 billion Staynes enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sani Bursil. The average income tax rate is 45.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Staynish economy, worth 961 trillion Kiribs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 125,071 Kiribs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway, inheritance tax has recently been abolished, bus ads propagandize causes ranging from sexual revolution to religious pogroms, and foreign spirits are hard to find due to an abundance of "Cletus and Jim Bob's Homemade Staynish Moonshine". Crime is totally unknown. Staynes's national animal is the Auroran Cheetah, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Thaerism.

Staynes is ranked 40,025^th in the world and 1,493^rd in The East Pacific for Most Politically Free, scoring 76.38 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.