The Republic of Staroslavya is a very large, safe nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-working, democratic population of 108 million Staroslavyans are known throughout the region for their efficiency and work ethic, as well as their general suspicion of leisure.

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Welfare, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 14.6%.

The Staroslavyan economy, worth 6.21 trillion Grošs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 57,504 Grošs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

The government keeps its thumb on the scales of justice, Animal Liberationists are regularly arrested, citizens select which government department gets their income tax Grošs each year, and military spending recently hit a new high. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Staroslavya's national animal is the Eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Staroslavya is ranked 299,815^th in the world and 324^th in Lone Wolves United for Nudest, with 18 cheeks per square mile.