The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 97 is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and renowned for its aversion to nipples, avant-garde cinema, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.235 billion Second Best Puppet 97ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 87.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 97ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,803 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 219,003 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign leaders never seem to want to shake hands with Noah, the delay between passed legislation and real world implementation is often a decade or longer, government ministers are regularly seen in the streets confessing their sins and hammering missiles into plow-shares, and artists are renowned for their ability to make art pieces out of thin air. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 97's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 97 is ranked 30,548^th in the world and 1,079^th in Two for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 1,856.53 on the Societal Mobility Rating.