The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 96 is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, ritual sacrifices, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 8.016 billion Second Best Puppet 96ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 94.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 96ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,430 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 178,482 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

A survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high, an increasing number of knights in shining armor suffer from PTSD, they say that Second Best Puppet 96ians made a dessert and called it peace, and visiting dignitaries make excuses to leave functions early and head to the nearest pub. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 96's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 96 is ranked 140,157^th in the world and 1,418^th in Two for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 2,138.82 on the Hickory Productivity Index.