The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 94 is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, museums and concert halls, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.967 billion Second Best Puppet 94ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 94ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,571 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 197,206 cards, with the richest citizens earning 6.1 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians that report exaggerated crowd sizes for their speeches are dismissed for being delusional, an increasing number of knights in shining armor suffer from PTSD, the banshee wail foretells skies of death, and meetings are often scheduled for "about four-ish" following complete conversion to sundials. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 94's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 94 is ranked 294,208^th in the world and 2,602^nd in Two for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 8,479.88 Standard Monetary Units.