The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 91 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, pith helmet sales, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.989 billion Second Best Puppet 91ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 88.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 91ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,666 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 208,561 cards, with the richest citizens earning 8.6 times as much as the poorest.

Televangelists flaunt their expensive cars when they attend charity events, long queues are apparently signs of a well-run airport, gardeners must genetically test weeds for unique traits before digging them up, and drawing men's naughty bits isn't considered to be art. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 91's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 91 is ranked 20,180^th in the world and 209^th in Two for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 6,088.74 on the Hickory Productivity Index.