The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 80 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 8.074 billion Second Best Puppet 80ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 94.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 80ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,533 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 189,891 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The Second Best Puppet 80ian football team for the Maxxmas ceasefire consists only of Intelligence Corps personnel, the nation's new Mylab space station is notorious for being the loneliest place above the planet, 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners, and all the world's a stage for Second Best Puppet 80ian political theatrics. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 80's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 80 is ranked 312,918^th in the world and 2,251^st in Two for Most Secular, with 1.02 Atheism Rate.