The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 70 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and remarkable for its closed borders, museums and concert halls, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 8.107 billion Second Best Puppet 70ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 80.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 70ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,668 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 205,859 cards, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 890,429 per year while the poor average 30,270, a ratio of 29.4 to 1.

Children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary, crackheads chase drug-loaded drones in hopes of a lucky drop, athletes are renowned for being the best at maths, and the judicial system legislates morality. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 70's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 70 is ranked 3,133^rd in the world and 12^th in Two for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 9,315.57 on the Hickory Productivity Index.