The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 49 is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, complete lack of prisons, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 8.068 billion Second Best Puppet 49ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 94.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 49ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,694 trillion cards a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 210,031 cards, with the richest citizens earning 7.4 times as much as the poorest.

Homophobia is off the menu, heartbroken parents are urged to "smile for the camera", what goes down must come up, and battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 49's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 49 is ranked 84,104^th in the world and 109^th in Two for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 3,550.98 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.