The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 44 is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, free-roaming dinosaurs, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.378 billion Second Best Puppet 44ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 94.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 44ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,697 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, Uranium Mining, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 202,664 cards, with the richest citizens earning 7.7 times as much as the poorest.

Books are considered luxuries only available to the incredibly wealthy, new urban roads are threatening city parks, cricket farmers use magnifying glasses to fit every member of their herd with tiny tracking tags, and dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 44's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 44 is ranked 308,121^st in the world and 2,556^th in Two for Most Pacifist, with 6.23 cheeks turned per day.