The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 35 is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, infamous sell-swords, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.401 billion Second Best Puppet 35ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 75.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 35ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,622 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 193,175 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Nations that kill a Second Best Puppet 35ian can expect a strongly worded letter, garden stores are not allowed to sell water butts, people stand their fridges back-to-front to benefit from the free heating, and overweight people receive reparations checks from fast-food chains. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 35's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 35 is ranked 12,823^rd in the world and 1,011^th in Two for Most Cultured, scoring 108 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.