The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 31 is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, strictly enforced bedtime, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.107 billion Second Best Puppet 31ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 95.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 31ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,514 trillion cards a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 186,799 cards, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 565,469 per year while the poor average 48,016, a ratio of 11.8 to 1.

Religious bigotry and a fear of outsiders have replaced religious studies in schools, raver DJ XStacy holds multiple medical degrees in chillaxing, the government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia, and the most commonly-worn shoes are concrete ones. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 31's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 31 is ranked 158,916^th in the world and 1,135^th in Two for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 1,519.02 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.