The Incorporated States of Second Best Pack Storage 81 is a colossal, cultured nation, renowned for its public floggings, smutty television, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.91 billion Second Best Pack Storage 81ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 89.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Pack Storage 81ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,671 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 211,311 cards, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

Several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation, babysitters are a thing of the past, the nation refuses to discard its increasingly useless penny, and the new "Bloodbath" orange tree autonomously seeks and destroys independent orchards. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Pack Storage 81's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Pack Storage 81 is ranked 109,889^th in the world and 856^th in Two for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 2,734.15 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.