The Conservatist Republic of Scartap is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Me with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful, devout population of 5.691 billion Scartapians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Scartapia. The average income tax rate is 73.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Scartapian economy, worth 951 trillion Euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 167,276 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Children have lost interest in toy guns in favor of toy meth lab kits, military training in Scartap emphasizes the tactical advantages of stabbing backs, the dartboard at the Scartapian Cancer Research Charity bears a picture of Me's face, and mathematicians are gathering an infinite number of Eagles and typewriters to see if they can recreate the works of Max Barry. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Scartap's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Islam.

Scartap is ranked 24,799^th in the world and 647^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Corrupt Governments, with 85.15 kickbacks per hour.