The Republic of San Montagna is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Prime Minister Giorgio Cavallo with an even hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, public floggings, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 6.471 billion San Montagnans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sabazio. The average income tax rate is 58.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient San Montagnan economy, worth a remarkable 1,527 trillion Lires a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 236,047 Lires, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Signs at the border tell international drivers where they can put their cars, the people elect the Supreme Court justices directly, murderers frequently escape punishment by claiming they were protecting their honour, and the new one Lire coin also makes a handy throwing-star. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. San Montagna's national animal is the Cool animal, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

San Montagna is ranked 201,536^th in the world and 209^th in The Western Isles for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 30.33 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.