The People's Republic of SAFT Card Farm 99 is a massive, safe nation, remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, cheerful population of 4.917 billion SAFT Card Farm 99ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient SAFT Card Farm 99ian economy, worth 756 trillion beers a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 153,799 beers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Gambling addicts regularly lose their families' nest eggs at Native SAFT Card Farm 99ian casinos, baby dolls thrown in the trash are a leading cause of panic attacks, there's no such thing as bad publicity, and a tax exemption has created a new hunger for octogenarian millionaires dating women 60 years their younger. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. SAFT Card Farm 99's national animal is the mothman, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

SAFT Card Farm 99 is ranked 7,509^th in the world and 71^st in SAFT Puppets for Lowest Crime Rates, with 106.88 law-abiding acts per hour.