The Republic of Red Bull is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Red Bull GmbH with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ubiquitous missile silos, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 1.778 billion Red Bulls are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Salzburg. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 18.6%.

The strong Red Bull economy, worth 126 trillion Red Bulls a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. Black market activity is notable. Average income is 71,306 Red Bulls, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's atlases tend to go out of date every few weeks, foreign football clubs wave the Red Bull flag before every game, it's always rabbit season, and the government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force. Red Bull's national animal is the Red Bull, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Red Bull is ranked 266,552^nd in the world and 141^st in FIFA Lands for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 48.04 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.