The Free Land of Privatore is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Capitan Privatore with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, pith helmet sales, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 17.49 billion Privatoreans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Privatore City. The average income tax rate is 12.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Privatorean economy, worth a remarkable 7,904 trillion Privs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 451,963 Privs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

More money is spent on policing the welfare system for abuse than on the welfare system itself, the nation's most "productive" diamond mine hasn't been operational for seven months, every day has been a surprise since weather reporters turned to consulting ancient totems for their seven-day forecasts, and authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets. Crime is totally unknown. Privatore's national animal is the Weasel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Privatore is ranked 5,663^rd in the world and 172^nd in the South Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2,146.82 pounds of wildlife per square mile.