The United States of Printer999 is a colossal, cultured nation, notable for its ritual sacrifices, frequent executions, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 6.842 billion Printer999ians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 90.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Printer999ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,186 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 173,414 cards, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Twins move across the country to avoid being accused of the other's crimes, tourists are duped into trimming hedges for the horsy-set, millions of simultaneously backfiring toilets have flooded Printer999 City with effluent, and lonely children write fanfiction about absent fathers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer999's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Printer999 is ranked 42,285^th in the world and 984^th in Two for Most Patriotic, with 37.17 flags saluted per person per day.