The United States of Printer981 is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, pith helmet sales, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.837 billion Printer981ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 91.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Printer981ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,021 trillion cards a year, is led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 149,400 cards, with the richest citizens earning 8.6 times as much as the poorest.

Government bureaucrats review designs for birdhouses to ensure they do not block the views of neighbors, the government finds the idea of having an army to be rather distasteful, descriptions of properties as "a stone's throw from the city centre" require a trebuchet to be true, and space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer981's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Printer981 is ranked 58,654^th in the world and 279^th in Two for Most Pacifist, with 99.55 cheeks turned per day.