The United States of Printer979 is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, pith helmet sales, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 6.649 billion Printer979ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 92.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Printer979ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,137 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 171,022 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

It is illegal to carry an umbrella when the official weather forecast predicts a sunny day, the pursuit of wanted criminals ends at the entrance of the pay'n'spray garage as police refuse to enter any private property, unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves, and the PBI Channel Tunnel project is plagued by delays. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer979's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Printer979 is ranked 305,744^th in the world and 601^st in Two for Most Secular, with 3.65 Atheism Rate.