The United States of Printer834 is a colossal, cultured nation, notable for its aversion to nipples, frequent executions, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 6.914 billion Printer834ians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 92.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Printer834ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,080 trillion cards a year, is led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 156,216 cards, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nothing is more offensive than being inoffensive, pro-life activists often lecture pregnant women undergoing routine prenatal screening, the Printer834 City XV Regiment (aka "The Goat Starers") have yet to win a battle, and research into 'designer babies' is banned. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer834's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Printer834 is ranked 10,548^th in the world and 612^th in Two for Most Cultured, scoring 116 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.