The United States of Printer817 is a colossal, cultured nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.879 billion Printer817ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 85.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Printer817ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,193 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 173,493 cards, with the richest citizens earning 7.6 times as much as the poorest.

After every storm there's an expensive government-funded rainbow, doctors will keep brain-dead coma patients ventilated for years in order to avoid accusations of allowing people to die, nothing is more offensive than being inoffensive, and the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer817's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Printer817 is ranked 325,413^th in the world and 2,004^th in Two for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 30.63 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.