The United States of Printer800 is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, frequent executions, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.9 billion Printer800ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 90.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Printer800ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,113 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 161,392 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

All you have to do is pray to get into Printer800, abortion is only legal in unusual circumstances, small children are frequently chased by rehabilitated pitbulls, and radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer800's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Printer800 is ranked 26,054^th in the world and 180^th in Two for Most Patriotic, with 47.53 flags saluted per person per day.