The Kingdom of Primitive Zimbabwe is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its ban on automobiles, aversion to nipples, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.62 billion Primitive Zimbabweans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Defense, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Primitive Zimbabwean economy, worth a remarkable 1,177 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, Furniture Restoration, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is an impressive 136,563 dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 483,392 per year while the poor average 27,856, a ratio of 17.4 to 1.

Rag-wearing teachers are often mistaken for homeless people, the economy is undergoing a traumatic transition to capitalism, army gunpowder stores are being commandeered to make pretty fireworks and sparklers, and for some reason the census focuses on daily banana ingestion and hourly quip rate. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Primitive Zimbabwe's national animal is the eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Primitive Zimbabwe is ranked 30,853^rd in the world and 680^th in the Rejected Realms for Highest Average Incomes, with 136,563.81 Standard Monetary Units.