Portugal cannot into great
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 170thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 238thLargest Retail Industry: 397th
The Imperial Empire of
Corporate Police State
Eminence Grise
Secretary of Foreign Affairs
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

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Portugal Is Great

Population9.16 billion

CapitalNew Lisbon
LeaderKlaus Vetz


The Imperial Empire of Portugal Is Great is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Klaus Vetz with an iron fist, and remarkable for its flagrant waste-dumping, compulsory gun ownership, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.16 billion Weak Portuguese are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Lisbon. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 29.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Portugal Is Greatian economy, worth a remarkable 3,080 trillion Stolns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 336,247 Stolns, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,097,914 per year while the poor average 3,687, a ratio of 840 to 1.

A baby's first breath is also a baby's first felony, suburban families are finding themselves increasingly short on food as they waste precious water on their lawns, epileptic patients switch their medications to whichever has a 'buy one get one free' offer, and dozens of viewers tune in weekly to hear whether a comma has been added to Clause 5 in Subsection B of Law 58375. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Portugal Is Great's national animal is the Housecat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Foxism.

Portugal Is Great is ranked 204,254th in the world and 167th in The Labyrinth for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 19.53 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.

Highest Wealthy Incomes: 170thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 238thLargest Retail Industry: 397thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 407thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 449thLargest Insurance Industry: 532ndMost Avoided: 627thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 632ndFattest Citizens: 801stLargest Mining Sector: 857thMost Corrupt Governments: 869thMost Efficient Economies: 985thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,061stHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,163rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,208thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,234thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,320thHighest Average Incomes: 1,348thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,488thMost Armed: 1,602ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,680thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,742ndLargest Black Market: 1,822ndTop
Most Devout: 2,587thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,122ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,463rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,627thMost Influential: 3,656thRudest Citizens: 3,671stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3,946thHighest Economic Output: 4,027thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,165thLargest Governments: 5,719thMost Conservative: 8,452ndLowest Crime Rates: 9,916thTop
Largest Information Technology Sector: 11,794thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 17,019th
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionTop
Rudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Influential: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 6th in the regionLargest Populations: 7th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 7th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 7th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 10th in the regionMost Stationary: 10th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 11th in the region

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