The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with an even hand, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, sprawling nuclear power plants, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 23.75 billion Paffniacs enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The powerhouse Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 4,899 trillion paffnars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 206,278 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Skoptopolis spends billions upgrading public transport, the endangered saltwater humpback llama is only seen in captivity programs, witnesses have to run a gauntlet of mob enforcers to testify at trials, and the amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 119,264^th in the world and 67^th in Portugal for Most Authoritarian, with 627.63 milliStalins.