The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with an even hand, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, anti-smoking policies, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 21.081 billion Paffniacs enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The thriving Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 4,177 trillion paffnars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 198,150 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Tax revenue is often intercepted by international accountants before ever seeing the national treasury, small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome, elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-paffnar mansions, and some paycheques only arrive every 12 to 24 weeks. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the cow, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 195,323^rd in the world and 1,867^th in 10000 Islands for Most Pro-Market, scoring -90.44 on the Rand Index.