The Grand Collective of Optimismostan is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The Central Committee with a fair hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, restrictive gun laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 6.495 billion Optimismostanis are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Welfare, Healthcare, and Administration also on the agenda, while Defense and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Chrysopolis. The average income tax rate is 96.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Optimismostani economy, worth a remarkable 1,151 trillion Optimars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 177,321 Optimars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Jabbing a baby's bottle at officials gets parents waved straight through immigration, children have lost interest in toy guns in favor of toy meth lab kits, sales of trenchcoats are on the rise, and captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship. Crime is totally unknown. Optimismostan's national animal is the Kittypie, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

Optimismostan is ranked 333,329^th in the world and 1,010^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Patriotic, with 0.51 flags saluted per person per day.