The Kingdom of Olden Days is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by the King of Days with a fair hand, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, rampant corporate plagiarism, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 26.886 billion Oldies enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The large, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gnosis. The average income tax rate is 30.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Olden economy, worth a remarkable 2,082 trillion doubloons a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 77,467 doubloons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

1% of global paper production is bound for the National Archive, woefully uninformed voters cast their ballots at random, the team in charge of creating a new writing system have spent months deciding whether or not to use serif or sans-serif characters, and at least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to the King of Days's wardrobe. Crime is totally unknown. Olden Days's national animal is the woolly mammoth, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnostic Monotheism.

Olden Days is ranked 91,727^th in the world and 4,880^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 66.93 law-abiding acts per hour.