The Incorporated States of NSC Puppet 79 is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, parental licensing program, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.696 billion NSC Puppet 79ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 90.4%.

The frighteningly efficient NSC Puppet 79ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,327 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Book Publishing, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 172,462 cards, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 558,278 per year while the poor average 40,231, a ratio of 13.9 to 1.

The populace has developed a mortal fear of the woods, a mountain of discarded sofas and beds is incinerated every day, lonely children write fanfiction about absent fathers, and companies balk at paying their workers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. NSC Puppet 79's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

NSC Puppet 79 is ranked 13,597^th in the world and 1,140^th in Two for Most Cultured, scoring 106 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.