The Democratic States of New Xyroxes is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Zylon Kromak with a fair hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, smutty television, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.617 billion New Xyroxesians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Xyloth. The average income tax rate is 44.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Xyroxesian economy, worth 879 trillion Credits a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 132,972 Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Neon signs promoting safe driving often distract drivers, depression sinks in after each election when voters realize they are stuck with these people for years, coat closets are being re-branded as bedrooms, and political satirists and late night comedians weep as the government begins cleaning up its act. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. New Xyroxes's national animal is the BearSquirrel, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

New Xyroxes is ranked 15,530^th in the world and 363^rd in The North Pacific for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 74,198.6 Standard Monetary Units.