The Jolly Present Giver of New Stonkopolis is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Santa Claus XVII with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, otherworldly petting zoo, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.551 billion Stonkopolisians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The North Pole. The average income tax rate is 37.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Stonkopolisian economy, worth 391 trillion Toys a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 153,664 Toys, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Major archaeological findings are frequently bulldozed to make way for new buildings, the country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions, veterans in wheelchairs are left waist-deep in rice paddies to gather grain, and citizens who don't recite the Pledge of New Stonkopolis at least three times a day are placed on a terrorist watch-list. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Stonkopolis's national animal is the Reindeer, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Toy Making.

New Stonkopolis is ranked 194,751^st in the world and 70^th in Kelvenya for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides, with 2.35 Rich To Poor Income Ratio.