The Colony of New Sandsnionion is a colossal, safe nation, renowned for its daily referendums, irreverence towards religion, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate population of 5.312 billion New Sandsnionionians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Environment, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sand City. The average income tax rate is 76.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong New Sandsnionionian economy, worth 371 trillion sands a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 69,848 sands, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The thin blue line is composed of picketing police officers demanding better pensions, people are bored of easy crossword puzzles, the Supreme Court vehemently protects civil rights and the right to privacy, and one tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Sandsnionion's national animal is the sandman, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

New Sandsnionion is ranked 250,018^th in the world and 4,149^th in The East Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -114.69 on the Scary Big Number Scale.