The Caretaker of New Babylonians is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by William Faa II with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 30.925 billion New Babyloniansians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Roma. The average income tax rate is 83.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Babyloniansian economy, worth a remarkable 4,267 trillion matts a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Book Publishing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 137,995 matts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Everybody's got wood thanks to William Faa II, citizens often ask "what has information technology ever done for us?", descriptions of properties as "a stone's throw from the city centre" require a trebuchet to be true, and cities in New Babylonians declare independence based on interpretation of the historic meaning of cave paintings. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Babylonians's national animal is the horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Wicca.

New Babylonians is ranked 32,772^nd in the world and 1^st in Kingdom of Alexandria for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry, scoring 6,496.06 on the Tasmanian Pulp Environmental Export Index.