The Dictatorship of Nation of Valkia is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Boris Mazur with an iron fist, and notable for its triple-decker prams, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 9.454 billion Valkians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Spirituality, Defense, and Environment also on the agenda, while Social Policy and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nena. The average income tax rate is 58.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Valkian economy, worth 478 trillion marks a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery, Arms Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 50,604 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

There is a 'turn around' sign at every border entrance, mechanics are often exhausted by their work, birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire, and the "Dreadnowt" is the pride and joy of the Valkian Navy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nation of Valkia's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Nation of Valkia is ranked 47,567^th in the world and 3,006^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 74.91 law-abiding acts per hour.