The Confederacy of Mulaonia is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Premier Alex Vars with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.88 billion Mulaonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Clackzburg. The average income tax rate is 89.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Mulaonian economy, worth 221 trillion Clack Mulas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 117,604 Clack Mulas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government prefers to kill off its enemies by peaceful means, political candidates are regularly blocked for minor convictions from their teenage years, vacationing hippies and old ladies are regularly arrested for bringing back contraband basketry, and a suspicious number of John Smiths are known to donate to Mulaonian politicians. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mulaonia's national animal is the Chicken, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Mulaonia is ranked 277,220^th in the world and 143^rd in Aspen for Most Primitive, scoring -180.48 on the Scary Big Number Scale.