The Protectorate of Messapica is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Regina Tutelaris- Immacolata Aurelia with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, ubiquitous missile silos, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 2.681 billion Messapicans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lecce. The average income tax rate is 42.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Messapican economy, worth 162 trillion Lire a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, Cheese Exports, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 60,450 Lire, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

They who do not work shall not eat, the only way to escape lengthy prison terms is in a body bag, vacationing Messapicans expect to be treated as royalty, and soldiers are equipped with multi-million Lira battlesuits. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Messapica's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Messapica is ranked 306,335^th in the world and 7^th in Sacrum Axis Bloc for Most Pacifist, with 6.32 cheeks turned per day.