The Federal Republic of Melitalcoland is a huge, genial nation, notable for its unlimited-speed roads, infamous sell-swords, and national health service. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 397 million Melitalcolandese live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, with Healthcare, Welfare, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gájevhal. The average income tax rate is 22.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Melitalcolandese economy, worth 35.7 trillion Tackles a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is 89,946 Tackles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days', Melitalcoland's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region, bus ads propagandize causes ranging from sexual revolution to religious pogroms, and only the rich can afford the latest medical innovations. Crime is totally unknown. Melitalcoland's national animal is the Parrot, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Melitalcoland is ranked 115,027^th in the world and 4,534^th in The East Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 1,094.2 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.