The Civilisation Game of Mastodonia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Shepard Blaine with a fair hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, keen interest in outer space, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.352 billion Mastodonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Environment, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The City. The average income tax rate is 99.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Mastodonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,721 trillion Postagestamps a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 206,073 Postagestamps, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Parents are shocked to find out that having kids costs money, employers are never quite sure if graduates' qualifications have any merit or meaning, recent protests against birds flying too low have resulted in bloodshed, and handling people's data is proving an immersive experience. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mastodonia's national animal is the mastodon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Project Pope.

Mastodonia is ranked 75,719^th in the world and 476^th in 10000 Islands for Highest Drug Use, scoring 82.8 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.